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May 24 2024
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Finding a Schedule that Works for Your Family

By Kristy Crandall

Not all schedules are created equal         I have always found schedules to be a bit of a challenge. On one hand, structure and routine is helpful for setting expectations and creating a natural rhythm during the day. On the other hand, life is unpredictable (especially with children). So, there needs to be a certain amount of flexibility. Otherwise, a schedule can add to the frustration and stress instead of taking it away. While creating a schedule for your own family, it is important to account for the patterns that already occur naturally within your home, as well as motivators for family members. By taking these details into account, you can set yourself up for a better chance of long-term success. Prioritize Practical Motivators         In our home, we are intentional about trying to keep expectations in the home as true to life as possible. Our children are expected to contribute in age-appropriate ways to the upkeep of our home. We do not give allowance for chores. Instead, we emphasize the importance of working together as a family to keep our space clean. This means, no one is required to do everything on their own. (We do occasionally surprise them with small rewards if they take initiative to do extra on their own.)          Even our youngest children “help” with chores. This usually takes longer in the short run, but as their ability and confidence increase, they are able to do the jobs more independently. Yesterday, I was feeling exceptionally tired, so after returning from taking them to their various activities I said, “I am going to take a nap. Work on these four tasks together, and when they’re done you can play games or watch a movie until I wake up.” My 11, 7, 6, and 4 year-old sprang into action and finished their chores together in 30 minutes. They were quietly doing their various activities when I got up. Time doing activities that they want to do has proved to be an effective motivator for them. It also helps to teach them the importance of time management. Flexible Structure         This is the schedule I created for my oldest son a couple of months ago. It has worked well for him. He is very motivated by time to do the things he wants to do. I told him that the 9-12 timeframe is for only school-related activities. If he gets his assigned work done early then he is allowed to choose his own assignments for the rest of the time period. He reads faster than me, so this happens quite often and he watches a documentary, practices Free CAD, watches YouTube videos on C++, or chooses some other “assignment” for himself that he has to get approved before starting. He loves being able to choose what he learns about And, if he has that to look forward to he doesn’t usually need much nagging to get his work done. The 3-5 time slot is for outside play or for finishing school that he didn’t get done earlier. So, if he was dragging his feet in the morning, he loses some of his time outside in the afternoon. If he gets his tasks done quickly, he has play time built into his schedule to anticipate. It’s a simple formula, but one that emphasizes time management and the natural consequences of procrastination. Children love to have some control over their education   It is also a good, practical way to teach responsible decision-making. Children can make choices within parameters set for them and are often happy to do so. They are really just small humans who want to feel like they have some control over their own destiny. Each child is different, so the parameters that are set must take the individual child into account. However, even simple things like allowing them to choose the order they do their subjects in can inspire more focused work.          As part of a space camp my son was a part of this past week, he got to participate in a simulation of a Mars mission with a “real” shuttle and workstation. He played the weather officer, and had to closely monitor changes on the surface of Mars so they could “land” safely. It was a completely immersive experience, and the first time he had been in a high stress situation of that kind. He said he identified an asteroid that would be hitting the planet near where they were supposed to land, and they had only a few minutes to decide what course of action was needed to avoid a crash. When I asked him how he felt about being in a high-stress situation like that he said, “I liked the feeling that people were depending on me to help make the mission a success.” I encourage you to give your children opportunities to show you what they’re capable of. Children who are allowed to take ownership of their schedule are often more motivated to see it implemented. For more ideas, also see my blog: Troubleshooting Student Struggles.

childhood learning environments and emotional intelligence
May 23 2024
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Childhood Learning Environments and Emotional Intelligence

By Kristy Crandall

A young boy rides home from school, alone on the school bus. His face and clothes are dirty from being pushed down on the playground at recess. He spent lunch with his teacher, because a classmate falsely accused him of stealing a pudding cup. Today in class, he learned about the injustice in the world, and that his classmates don’t like it when he does well on tests. He learned to keep to himself to avoid trouble. Tired and embarrassed, he declines to answer questions about his day over dinner. Instead, he eats quietly and then excuses himself to go finish his homework and crawl into bed. He is resigned to repeat the same, humiliating routine tomorrow. These kinds of experiences negatively influence emotional intelligence. Stories like this are not uncommon in public schools.               Children self-segregate into groups based on the labels given to them by themselves or others. Strong children from troubled homes pick on classmates who stand out for one reason or another. Children from all backgrounds are thrown together into a big melting pot. Parents hope that they will make it through unscathed. Most of them don’t. According to the National Center for Drug Abuse Statistics, twenty-one percent of eighth graders have tried an illicit drug at least once, and almost fifty percent will have tried drugs by twelfth grade. Sixty-two percent of teens 12-17 years old have abused alcohol by twelfth grade. Eleven percent of overdose deaths are in youth 15-24 years old.               Sandstone Care, a recovery center for adolescents struggling with substance abuse, lists five different reasons why students start using drugs and alcohol. These include peer pressure, self-medication and escape, performance improvement, Experimentation, and to feel grown up. In a nutshell, many teens begin abusing drugs, at least in part, because of a lack of emotional Intelligence. Students feel unable to handle the social and academic stressors of the classroom setting. According to Psychology Today, “Emotional intelligence refers to the ability to identify and manage one’s own emotions, as well as the emotions of others.” It enables individuals to navigate social scenarios based on one’s own feelings and the perceived feelings of others. Emotional intelligence enables positive experiences and relationships to flourish. It also allows an individual to make others feel heard and cared for, while also exercising restraint when insults occur. It creates a sort of “buffer zone” between individuals, so they can interact and work together peacefully. Emotional Intelligence consists of five main components: self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills. It requires an awareness of one’s own triggers and motivators, and also the ability to anticipate the emotional responses of others. Higher emotional intelligence not only increases confidence, but also enables more positive interactions between people. High emotional intelligence has implications far beyond high school. According to Forbes, emotional intelligence is the strongest predictor of performance. It explains a full 58% of success in all types of jobs. They also concluded that each point increase in emotional intelligence equates to $1,300 increase in annual income, regardless of location, demographic, or industry. Emotional intelligence can have life-changing ramifications. And, it is learned. Unlike IQ and personality, which have an impact on success but cannot be altered much, emotional intelligence is something that develops with a person. Much of this kind of learning is done during the early years in whatever environment one grows up in. For many, this looks like the inside of a classroom- the same setting every day, with the same people every day, experiencing the same pressures and embarrassments every day, sitting through hours of lectures that do not seem relevant to anything tangible. Children learn from the people around them. This means, when they are surrounded only by their peers, day in and day out, there is very little emotional maturing that can happen. Conversely, some children learn in the safety of their homes. They are allowed to have some control over their learning experience, get more sleep, and grow up in an environment where learning is encouraged and celebrated instead of ridiculed. The homeschool experience is often more varied. It includes more real-world experiences as the family runs errands, attends get-togethers, classes, and field trips. Homeschool children are able to adapt to a wide variety of social situations. As a result, peer-reviewed studies on social, emotional, and psychological development show homeschool students perform significantly better than those in conventional schools. They also feel better prepared for college and life after school. What’s more, they are being sought after by colleges because of the level of positive engagement they bring to the campus. Emotional intelligence is an important facet of the individual’s personal portfolio. It can be learned at any age, but like most things, is best learned in childhood. More importantly, the relationships that are formed in childhood, good and bad, have an impact on the child for the rest of their lives.