Finding a Schedule that Works for Your Family
Not all schedules are created equal I have always found schedules to be a bit of a challenge. On one hand, structure and routine is helpful for setting expectations and creating a natural rhythm during the day. On the other hand, life is unpredictable (especially with children). So, there needs to be a certain amount of flexibility. Otherwise, a schedule can add to the frustration and stress instead of taking it away. While creating a schedule for your own family, it is important to account for the patterns that already occur naturally within your home, as well as motivators for family members. By taking these details into account, you can set yourself up for a better chance of long-term success. Prioritize Practical Motivators In our home, we are intentional about trying to keep expectations in the home as true to life as possible. Our children are expected to contribute in age-appropriate ways to the upkeep of our home. We do not give allowance for chores. Instead, we emphasize the importance of working together as a family to keep our space clean. This means, no one is required to do everything on their own. (We do occasionally surprise them with small rewards if they take initiative to do extra on their own.) Even our youngest children “help” with chores. This usually takes longer in the short run, but as their ability and confidence increase, they are able to do the jobs more independently. Yesterday, I was feeling exceptionally tired, so after returning from taking them to their various activities I said, “I am going to take a nap. Work on these four tasks together, and when they’re done you can play games or watch a movie until I wake up.” My 11, 7, 6, and 4 year-old sprang into action and finished their chores together in 30 minutes. They were quietly doing their various activities when I got up. Time doing activities that they want to do has proved to be an effective motivator for them. It also helps to teach them the importance of time management. Flexible Structure This is the schedule I created for my oldest son a couple of months ago. It has worked well for him. He is very motivated by time to do the things he wants to do. I told him that the 9-12 timeframe is for only school-related activities. If he gets his assigned work done early then he is allowed to choose his own assignments for the rest of the time period. He reads faster than me, so this happens quite often and he watches a documentary, practices Free CAD, watches YouTube videos on C++, or chooses some other “assignment” for himself that he has to get approved before starting. He loves being able to choose what he learns about And, if he has that to look forward to he doesn’t usually need much nagging to get his work done. The 3-5 time slot is for outside play or for finishing school that he didn’t get done earlier. So, if he was dragging his feet in the morning, he loses some of his time outside in the afternoon. If he gets his tasks done quickly, he has play time built into his schedule to anticipate. It’s a simple formula, but one that emphasizes time management and the natural consequences of procrastination. Children love to have some control over their education It is also a good, practical way to teach responsible decision-making. Children can make choices within parameters set for them and are often happy to do so. They are really just small humans who want to feel like they have some control over their own destiny. Each child is different, so the parameters that are set must take the individual child into account. However, even simple things like allowing them to choose the order they do their subjects in can inspire more focused work. As part of a space camp my son was a part of this past week, he got to participate in a simulation of a Mars mission with a “real” shuttle and workstation. He played the weather officer, and had to closely monitor changes on the surface of Mars so they could “land” safely. It was a completely immersive experience, and the first time he had been in a high stress situation of that kind. He said he identified an asteroid that would be hitting the planet near where they were supposed to land, and they had only a few minutes to decide what course of action was needed to avoid a crash. When I asked him how he felt about being in a high-stress situation like that he said, “I liked the feeling that people were depending on me to help make the mission a success.” I encourage you to give your children opportunities to show you what they’re capable of. Children who are allowed to take ownership of their schedule are often more motivated to see it implemented. For more ideas, also see my blog: Troubleshooting Student Struggles.
