Tag: school

A young boy rides home from school, alone on the school bus. His face and clothes are dirty from being pushed down on the playground at recess. He spent lunch with his teacher, because a classmate falsely accused him of stealing a pudding cup. Today in class, he learned about the injustice in the world, and that his classmates don’t like it when he does well on tests. He learned to keep to himself to avoid trouble. Tired and embarrassed, he declines to answer questions about his day over dinner. Instead, he eats quietly and then excuses himself to go finish his homework and crawl into bed. He is resigned to repeat the same, humiliating routine tomorrow. These kinds of experiences negatively influence emotional intelligence. Stories like this are not uncommon in public schools.               Children self-segregate into groups based on the labels given to them by themselves or others. Strong children from troubled homes pick on classmates who stand out for one reason or another. Children from all backgrounds are thrown together into a big melting pot. Parents hope that they will make it through unscathed. Most of them don’t. According to the National Center for Drug Abuse Statistics, twenty-one percent of eighth graders have tried an illicit drug at least once, and almost fifty percent will have tried drugs by twelfth grade. Sixty-two percent of teens 12-17 years old have abused alcohol by twelfth grade. Eleven percent of overdose deaths are in youth 15-24 years old.               Sandstone Care, a recovery center for adolescents struggling with substance abuse, lists five different reasons why students start using drugs and alcohol. These include peer pressure, self-medication and escape, performance improvement, Experimentation, and to feel grown up. In a nutshell, many teens begin abusing drugs, at least in part, because of a lack of emotional Intelligence. Students feel unable to handle the social and academic stressors of the classroom setting. According to Psychology Today, “Emotional intelligence refers to the ability to identify and manage one’s own emotions, as well as the emotions of others.” It enables individuals to navigate social scenarios based on one’s own feelings and the perceived feelings of others. Emotional intelligence enables positive experiences and relationships to flourish. It also allows an individual to make others feel heard and cared for, while also exercising restraint when insults occur. It creates a sort of “buffer zone” between individuals, so they can interact and work together peacefully. Emotional Intelligence consists of five main components: self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills. It requires an awareness of one’s own triggers and motivators, and also the ability to anticipate the emotional responses of others. Higher emotional intelligence not only increases confidence, but also enables more positive interactions between people. High emotional intelligence has implications far beyond high school. According to Forbes, emotional intelligence is the strongest predictor of performance. It explains a full 58% of success in all types of jobs. They also concluded that each point increase in emotional intelligence equates to $1,300 increase in annual income, regardless of location, demographic, or industry. Emotional intelligence can have life-changing ramifications. And, it is learned. Unlike IQ and personality, which have an impact on success but cannot be altered much, emotional intelligence is something that develops with a person. Much of this kind of learning is done during the early years in whatever environment one grows up in. For many, this looks like the inside of a classroom- the same setting every day, with the same people every day, experiencing the same pressures and embarrassments every day, sitting through hours of lectures that do not seem relevant to anything tangible. Children learn from the people around them. This means, when they are surrounded only by their peers, day in and day out, there is very little emotional maturing that can happen. Conversely, some children learn in the safety of their homes. They are allowed to have some control over their learning experience, get more sleep, and grow up in an environment where learning is encouraged and celebrated instead of ridiculed. The homeschool experience is often more varied. It includes more real-world experiences as the family runs errands, attends get-togethers, classes, and field trips. Homeschool children are able to adapt to a wide variety of social situations. As a result, peer-reviewed studies on social, emotional, and psychological development show homeschool students perform significantly better than those in conventional schools. They also feel better prepared for college and life after school. What’s more, they are being sought after by colleges because of the level of positive engagement they bring to the campus. Emotional intelligence is an important facet of the individual’s personal portfolio. It can be learned at any age, but like most things, is best learned in childhood. More importantly, the relationships that are formed in childhood, good and bad, have an impact on the child for the rest of their lives.